I've never really been very popular. I doubt that comes as any kind of shock to you guys. I had friends when I was really little, but then I showed myself as the freak I am and everything kind of spiraled downhill. I guess that parents were a little scared to let their kids spend time with me. And the kids had an easy enough time ganging up against me. Kids are good at that. I don't blame them, I'm not exactly fun to be around and it's not worth the danger.
I figure I have gotten as used to loneliness as possible, but being lonely isn't something you can just get used to. It hurts like muscle cramps in the bottom of your stomach. I mean, compared to the Slender headaches I've been getting recently, it's not that bad. More dull ache, less stabbing pain. If I don't spend time in public places, sometimes I can pretend that I'm only alone because no one's around and not because no one would hang out with me anyway.
But that's all okay. I'm fine with that. I've accepted that as my way of life.
This post is for different reasons. It's about happier things. I know, it's unexpected to see happy things on this blog. But I am happy.
I made a friend! Or at least, a pen pal. A guy who responds to emails if I send them. Usually. It's Malcolm from Rain or Snow Services! He and his coworkers agreed to my request for a can of paint in order to paint over my increasingly extravagant sleep drawings. So that should be coming up soon, but meanwhile Malcolm and I talked for a bit and he's really super nice. This is the first time in a long time that I've had real social interaction with someone who isn't my mom. And it's nice to be able to talk with him about this Slender stuff without worrying about ruining his life.
Apparently, though, there's someone else who loves me. Recently more and more of my unconscious doodles have been rather....personal.
My Dearest Gray
or
I love you Gray
or
Gray, let me protect you from the world
and just a few minutes ago when I dozed off in the middle of writing this post,
You can't trust that so-called friend. He doesn't love you like I do.
It's taking a lot of effort not to panic. Malcolm said he'd help me figure out what was going on. I trust Malcolm.
You aren't alone. That much I can assure you, Gray. It may be a comforting thought, it may be an unnerving one in the case of Slenderman and your mysterious ailment, but it is something at least to combat loneliness. There are many like you, more than you know, most of them kindred spirits with yourself.
ReplyDeleteBe careful. You are in a dangerous place. Perhaps it is good that you have made a dangerous friend as well.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean, a dangerous place? And I don't think that Malcolm is dangerous, he's nice. He runs a package delivery service, not some kind of mafia.
DeleteAnyone stalked by the faceless one is in a dangerous place. Those trying to hide it perhaps moreso. I doubt that your friend is dangerous to you, but there is no doubt that he is dangerous to many.
DeleteSomeone being nice doesn't mean they're not dangerous. I have met some exceptionally dangerous people who have been very kind to me.
DeleteI'll be your friend too if you want; I like you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sanna.
DeleteYou're never alone. We're all in this mess together.
ReplyDelete