Hey Gray, I know you're in there. I want to make sure that you hear this little conversation, so I'm writing it down for you. You could sleep through it, but I know that you read this blog so you'll find it when you eventually come back. I thought it was high time that I had a talk with our mother, so I told her I'm doing homework in the kitchen and will be transcribing our conversation. Time to learn where we stand.
Her: [Gray] I'm glad we have this time to talk.
*NOTE: About names...we have one of course. A birth name. No I am not going to use it, and not even for stupid security reasons like Gray. The boy who owned that name is gone. I am not him and Gray is not him, we are two new individuals. We deserve our own names. I chose my own, but Gray was stupidly attached to the original. It wouldn't be fair if he went by it, though, that would make it seem like he was more real than I was. I am not a figment of his imagination, we are equals. So I named him Gray. Seems like I have more right than this uninvolved woman to determine his name. He wore the mask of that dead boy's name for so long, I thought he'd forget, but look. He comes on this blog and slips so easily into MY name for him. You know it's who you truly are, Gray.
So of course in this talk my mom was using THAT name, but since I refuse to say it and she thought that she was talking to the Gray side of us, I will transcribe it as if that's what she said.*
Me: Yeah. Me too.
Her: It feels like we never get to talk anymore. Even though I spend a lot of my time working I want you to know that I'm here for you if you need to talk. Whenever.
*GAG by the way. How fucking sappy can she get? But I need to act like Gray...act like Gray*
Me: Yeah, I know. I've just been busy with school and stuff.
Her: I'm sure it's a lot of work. How are those friends you brought over anyway? Are you making sure Mari is fitting in? It can be hard moving to a new school.
*The fuck? Oh, those courier idiots who gave Gray the paint to cover over my beautiful love notes. Best to change the topic*
Me: Yeah, she's doing fine. Listen, I wanted to talk to you actually, about that notebook of mine you were reading.
Her: *She noticeably stiffens. Oh, this is fun!* The...Slenderman ones, was it? I looked that stuff up on the computer, it doesn't seem like it's appropriate for a boy your age. Especially not with your condition.
Me: The kids at school are really into it.
Her: I thought you didn't even like that scary stuff.
Me: It's not all that scary.
Her: Well I think it's awful. Taking children, tearing people to shreds, chasing people through forests? Certainly it can't help you sleep at night, living where we are.
Me: *I can't help laughing. That gets her attention, Gray NEVER laughs. He's a real downer* I'm not worried about nightmares.
*Ooh, look at her, she's sitting down across from me at the table getting in her 'we're having an intimate and serious talk' pose. This is bound to be SO much fun*
Her: Do you want to talk about it to someone more...qualified than me?
Me: What, you want to send me back to an asylum?
Her: No, it doesn't have to be that serious. We could get you set up with a therapist. I know money's a little tight, but we have enough if it's what you need. Or you could talk to the guidance counselor at school.
Me: You think I'm crazy.
Her: I think you're still delicate. That notebook was...disturbing, [Gray]. Please tell me if there's something wrong. I'm your mother, you can trust me.
Hey hey hey, look who's back? Yes I feel your sensitive little heart reaching out to your mommy, Gray. Glad to see you've pulled out of your slump. Yes it was necessary to talk to her, don't give me that. Sometimes you have to face problems head on.
Her: [Gray?]
*Whoops, guess I was quiet too long*
Me: I'm really okay mom. You know I'm a big art geek. Well I came across this Slenderman stuff and it was really cool looking so I doodled it in class.
Her: I'm glad, [Gray], really I am. I was worried that you were taking this all a bit too seriously.
Me: It's serious business.
Hee hee, stop panicking Gray, I'm just gonna have a little fun. Besides, you wouldn't have to worry about whether or not she knew it was real if it was a fact that she knew.
Her: What do you mean?
Me: Have you ever thought what it would be like if He was real?
Her: Don't say such things Gray, you make me worried.
Me: Slenderman out there, taking children, stalking adults. I've see-
Me: I've seen movies about it. But personally I find it all silly. It's just a popular fad, nothing more. I'm just trying to fit in at school. Be a normal kid like you always say, mom.
Yeah, yeah, complain all you want Kor. I may be weak, but I have the drive to keep you from telling my mom that it's all real. I can do at least that for her. So you just cool your head inside for a little bit. Thanks for breaking me out of that slump.
Mom: You know that you can talk to me about anything, right? And try and stay away from that gruesome stuff. I'm sure there are plenty of kids who have other interests that you share to talk with.
Me: Yeah, I'm sure mom. Listen, I'm going to finish my homework in my room, okay?
Mom: Okay sweetie. I'm glad we could talk.
Me: Me too. I hope we can spend a lot more time together.
So I hugged my mom and now I'm back in my room. I'm also back in control of my body, that's fun. The Kor and I are falling into a more regular rhythm. Used to be we could switch back and forth rapidly, but it seems we're rusty cause it takes more effort now and the switches take more energy. It's getting easier, though. I don't know if that's good or bad. For now it's me. I don't think I'll be going back to Hakurei Ryuu's blog. This way I can pretend she lived happily ever after, as if that was possible.
Oh look, it's snowing outside. I like the snow. It turns the sky and the ground the same color until the world looks like the inside of a pillowcase.
Catch you on the flip-side.
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