Ashes to Ashes

I have to say, when all of this began, I didn't expect that being chased and tortured by a monster and its followers would require so much research. It's kinda like school, if the blogs are primary sources of how not to die, and the essay I'm writing determines my fate.  Boy, you really know how to make everything boring, don't you?

Hi guys.  Gray here.  And Kor.  Yes, and Kor and we are rested and researched and ready to face this challenge!  Today's the day we're breaking out of this thing except we don't know what a day for us means in the real world.  For all we know it could be April by this afternoon Well it doesn't matter, Gray.  It doesn't matter what's happening to them, just what's happening to us.  It's not like we're rushing to get anywhere I guess you're right.  We have nothing left.

Oh come on, we've come so far and  you're going to start crying again now?  Listen.  You keep living until you find a new reason to live.  That doesn't make any sense.  No?  Well it's how the world keeps turning.  And if I have to drag you along by force I will.  Reason enough for you?

Fine.

Besides, I don't have to be inside your head to know that this means more to you than just a possible escape route.  You would have done it regardless.  You're that kind of person.

Let's explain the plan, shall we?  Feel free to do the honors, Storm cloud.  Storm cloud?  It fits you!  Should I go back to grasshopper?  Oh no, you like my love, right?

Okay okay okay I take it back just please get off me.  You're getting off topic.  You're getting me off topic!  Gray, just tell the people our marvelous plan.

Fine.  So from our hasty research on loops we found out two possible escape methods that seem to work most times.  Discounting the ones about chanting magic spells cause, excuse me for being a skeptic but magic?  Seriously?  We also discounted the ones about just waiting it out because we have a limited food source and the ones about just believing in yourself hard enough cause honestly that's bigger bullshit than the magic ones.

So possible solution one was find the proxy who's maintaining the loop and kill him so that he can no longer maintain it.  This one was my personal favorite.  But there were several problems, such as the proxy probably being better trained in combat than us and also he appears to be outside the loop, not in here with us.  If we could get outside the loop that would defeat the whole purpose of needing to escape it in the first place.  Yeah, so we went on to alternate plan B.  Which honestly seemed to have the most support going for it in terms of seeming to work consistently.

It was to do something completely crazy, out of character or just not what you would logically do.  Like jumping off a cliff.  Or drinking whiskey.  Or facing your fear.

I think it was Dr. Fracture who, in a comment said that it seemed like our loop was less of a dimension and more a recreation of the moment that we were trapped in it.  The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.  Time is crawling by, the blood isn't drying, my cuts aren't even healing and we can't leave this room.  If loops are really partially filled by the thoughts of the person inside (which I'm pretty sure I read somewhere) then it would make sense that...that I was a bit hung up on this moment.  That maybe I still am.

So what we're going to do is break it.  It was my idea.  No, it was my idea.  Well, the whole concept was your plan, but I was the one who came up with using fire!  Well, yes, Kor, that is true.

My thinking is that if we're frozen in this moment, we just have to remove something integral to it and the entire loop will break down.  So...I'm going to accept that my mom is dead.  I'm going to move on and maybe time will too.  And the best way to do that is to lay her to rest.  But...I can't even bury her.  We're in our stupid kitchen.  I wish I could get her a priest or something...This is good enough, Gray.  It's respectful and it's final.  Besides, she wouldn't have wanted a lot of people around or a whole big affair.  You know that.  She's got her boy here.  You meant the world to her.  But before she died...the last thing she saw was us betraying her...cutting, cutting out her That was me, Gray.  Not you.  You never had anything but love for her.  You buried everything inside, even before I was here to support you, for her.  She knows how much you loved her.  I could have run.  I could have run and maybe this would never have happened.  We can't know, Gray.  But you loved her, and I swear on my love for you that one day we'll find that Jessica bitch and I will cut out her tongue just for you.

Let's cremate mom for now.  There's been enough death recently.  I just want to get some rest once we escape.  Anything you want my love.

I...still don't want to put up our last name on here, but I want to say something.  So...

Mary Anne, you were the best mom I could ever want.  This blog was supposed to be my eulogy, but it seems it's turned into yours as well.  I never wanted for that, but then again, I never wanted for any of this.  The demons that I'll have to face as I grow up are different than the ones you struggled with, but thank you for trying to protect me from them.  Thank you for sacrificing everything that you were for me, before I was even born.  I'm sorry I was never anything but a disappointment, sorry that I never did anything but make everything harder for you, sorry that I brought this ending to you.  I hope you rest in peace.

When this is finally all over, I'll join you in heaven.  I promise, mom.  

So, it's time I guess.  If what I've read is true all we have to do is really focus on something in here and it'll appear.  Two spark stones make a fire, right?  Flint and tinder.  You ready?  Are you?  I...think so.  

Okay.  See you guys on the other side.