Timeless Gray

Um.  Happy New Year I suppose.

That is so strange to say.  I thought...I mean, Jessica found us on December 13th.  I know that.  I know....I guess I don't know.  I don't know anything anymore.  I can't trust anything either.  We can't have been in here more than a couple of hours, but from what I've been reading on other blogs it's been weeks.  Weeks......I guess I missed Christmas.

I hadn't thought I'd live until Christmas when I started this blog.  I told Malcolm that I thought it'd be nice to live until Christmas but now that I have I kinda just feel empty.  Why am I alive?  Did...Did He really save me?  Or was it like Craft said, that I just wasn't important enough to bother killing.  That makes sense.  I mean, what am I?  I'm a rat in a cage.  I'm a worm that lost its heart and still manages to squirm.  Why why why why why.

Sir Fracture suggested that it was the loop maker that saved our lives by putting us in here.  Maybe that's true.  But I can't help but feel like this is some kind of torture.  Trapped in here.  Staring at my mom.  Smelling.....We were going to get a tree.  No, I was going to run.  Kor had decided, had made a plan to run.  We wouldn't have had Christmas together anyway.  Or gotten to watch the ball drop on TV.  And we won't ever again.  Cause that's what dead means.

It was all so easy.  So fast.  So fragile.  I didn't think it'd be that easy to cut through flesh and bone and muscle but it all slides so easily.  It all went so fast.

I'm such an idiot.  Making that list of things that are wrong.  I can't list out what's wrong, everything's wrong.  This world is wrong.  I'm wrong.  This is not my kitchen and the me sleeping over there on the floor is not me and the blood leaking from the walls can't be real and this can't be my life.  Weeks I've been sitting here crying and covered in blood.

I knew we all ended up this way.

I don't know who did this, or why they decided to trap us inside this dimensional box, but whoever it is must hate me.  Or else they would have just let me die.

Merry Christmas.  Happy New Year.  By the time this goes up, I guess it could very well be Valentines Day.  I don't know anymore.  I don't know anything.        

Caged Gray

Sorry about making so many posts all in one day, but it grounds me.  Connects me to the outside world.  Reminds me that it's still out there.  It's been nice to see you all commenting so quickly.  Hopefully that means we're reaching you.  Or it just means that I'm hallucinating worse than I thought.  Or this is purgatory.  I can't think of a worse punishment than being forced to stay with my mother like this.  I just want to let her be buried.

I'm getting off track.

All I want to do in this post is, like I said, start trying to ground myself.  I'm gonna make a list of all the things that are abnormal about this place and work backwards from there.  Maybe there's something important in all of this, like a clue about...something.  I don't know.  At least writing it down will keep it all straight and make it seem less...uncontrollable.  This is all just so out of my control.  And this way if you people know any way to help someone with these...issues...maybe you'll care enough to share.  

1. Walking out either of the doors leads to coming in the other one

2. The Kor and I are in two separate bodies, with identical wounds, but he has red eyes and I have our usual gray

3. When looking out the window all I can see is blackness

4. None of the blood, on us or on my mom appears to be drying

5. When I woke up my computer was here, even though I definitely left it in my room

6. I'm not hearing any static.  The last thing I remember before passing out was the static rising louder than ever but in here it's dead silent.  More silent than it's been since I met Him

7. Blood comes out of the sink instead of water

8. Earlier, not anymore, there was blood leaking from the tops of the walls

I...I think that might be it.  We've had something to eat and we're gonna continue doing research on loops.  If there is a proxy around he or she doesn't seem to be directly threatening us right now, so I think we may be okay to try and sleep.

If I can sleep.

If I can sleep with the smell of so much blood in the air.

I just want to forget that this ever happened.

Back on Korse

I finally pulled Gray away from the computer.  He's in a bad way right now and typing out that nonsense on here isn't going to make him feel better.  Sorry about having so many posts right in a row, but today has been a pretty crazy day.crazya does'nt begina to describe it

GRAY get off me, stop trying to type over me.  I told you you need to calm down.  I'm going to calmly explain what happened since I can't trust you to do that in the state you're inwhyshouldn't I be afterwhatyou did monster what youMOAgnster afmon tster asogh

Okay!  I'm sitting on him.  He left me no other choice, he needs to calm down before coming back on here.  Oh seriously Gray?  Are you crying again?  I thought you were through with that.  Come on...don't be a baby, you know you're way too cute when you cry and I have to focus on other things right now.  All blood streaked and tear stained, please don't try and pretend you're not purposefully trying to distract me ;)

WELL I WILL NOT BE DISTRACTED!  The careful viewer may notice a few odd things in our writing.  There are two of us.  And not like there are usually two of us.  I mean that I briefly passed out and when I woke up I saw a copy of myself there and I am The Kor and the other me is Gray and we're two separate physical individuals.  I'm sitting on him right now.

Wait, really?  Gray has just told me that my form of our body has red eyes.  RED EYES!  How fucking sweet is that?  Ooh...I should find a mirror.  BRB! XD

 Gray here...I'm calmed down.  Sorry about those posts, I just...it just...it's been a long day is all.  Like Kor said.  And there's two of us.  Like Kor said.  He's off to check out the GUSY GUYS GUYS guess what you are not going to believe what!  I walked out the door to the hallway to go to the bathroom right?  Yeah.  And instead of getting to the hallway, I come in through the front door!  Wait, what?  That doesn't make any sense.  Any more sense than the fact that we are currently in two separate bodies?  

I've read about this.  I've read about this.  Not the two bodies thing...but the walking through one door and coming in another, I've read about that on blogs before.  I know I have it's just hard to think in here...with the the the t...smeells and I'm getting blood on my keyboard aren't I?

You think about that, love, I'll tell the good people what they missed.  We're clearly going to be here for a while.  Fine.  I'm going to...to try and wash my hands off I guess.

You may all remember from my post yesterday, that today I was going to get my cast off!  Well...you may be able to tell that something didn't exactly go right.  In fact, very little went right!  But the important thing is, everyone who matters is safe and we did indeed get our cast off so mission accomplisGRAY

Fuck guys, Gray just screamed, I thought something had happened.  T-the sink is not...the water it's...blood blood is coming out of the sink instead of water oh God oh God I could lick the blood off for you if you want ;)

.......No thank you.  

Aaaanyway, what happened was that the cannibal bitch kinda caught up with us.  I know!  I thought that there was no way she would find us either!  But that's just life, isn't it?  So she bared her fangs for a bit...tried to exert dominance yadda yadda...took us back home and then got in some kind of a Shakespeare nerd-off competition with Gray.  How the fuck do you know so much Shakespeare anyway, grasshopper?

O it is monstrous!  Monstrous!

Sure...whatever that means.  Well the bitch was spewing lines like crazy and I kinda lost track of shit there, but then she knocked us out and when Gray woke up she'd taken our cast off!  Really appreciate that.  Also had us tied to a chair with copper wire which was less cool, gotta say, but not so bad.  Overall we really got out of it relatively unharmed.  I'd say Big bad monster wasn't all she was cracked up to be.  You're the monster.  Gray, sweetheart, don't treat me so cruelly!  I protected you, didn't I?  You're perfectly saYOU CUT OUT HER TONGUE!  Our mother's tongue MY mother's tongue!  And why?  CAuse your bestfriendcannibal Jess told you to?  Cause you don'tgive a damn about anyonebutYOURSELF?  About you!  Myself is yourself!  If I'm hurt, you're hurt and I would never ever let that happen.  Maybe she meant something to you and I'm sorry you know I am that you had to go through that, but if it was hurt her or risk you being tortured more because I didn't then I will always choose to protect you.  Gray, look at me.  Always.  I will always be the one person in this world who puts you above everyone else.  No one will ever love you like I do.  Like I always have.  You are unharmed and so I don't care what happens to anyone else, myself includedyou always say you love me but if you loved me why would you hurt her she thought it was me she thought i had ripped outher tongue and smil

What an adorable face.  And no one else has ever seen it but me.  Don't tell me that was your first kiss?itsyourfirsttoo idiot wer'e the same personyou're so fucking adorable my little Gray.  Now sit tight and lemme finish the story, hm?  Where was I?

You were killing our mother.

That's not fair, Gray, don't try and twist the facts.  I wasn't the one who ripped off her arm, was I?  Or the one that bit chunks of her flesh out.  And I certainly wasn't the one who took the buzzsaw to the top of her headstopstopstopstopstop

Sorry my love, I was just trying to set your facts straight.  I didn't kill her, the cannibitch did.  You may as well have killed her.  I may as well have killed her.  She died the moment she thought her son was voluntarily cutting out her tongue.  You killed her in that moment.  We did.  I did I killed her I killed her like ikilled my dad when ididn'tstop you. you're mmyresponesiblyity

No Gray, it wasn't you.  It was me, it was big bad Kor, you couldn't stop me if you tried.  You know that.  You're too fragile, delicate little Gray, you never could have done that to your mother.  You know that.  I took the hard part upon myself.  You were asleep, I WANTED you to be asleep, I needed you away from the gore.  You don't need to see the awful things we have to do sometimes.  You sleep and stay safe, Gray, stay pure and sweet and the same as you are now.

If the water isn't working, how can we wash the blood off?

It'll dry soon enough.  We'll figure a way out of here.  Don't you worry, I'll keep you safe.  Besides, we were lucky enough to be trapped in a room with food, so we won't starve.  Did you remember what you had read about this kind of thing?

Oh, right.  It's called a Loop.  Proxies make them, I think.  They're like rips in reality filled with nightmares.  Well this one seems pretty tame as far as nightmares go.  And if a dirty proxy is skulking around here I'll teach him to mess with us.  We also got locked in the room with the knives :)

Look at the mess of words we made.  No one's going to be able to read this junk.  I'm gonna go back and color code us and also delete the garbledy gook where we type over each other, okay?  Sure, whatever, I don't care.  When you're done let's do some research on loops.  Maybe we can find something about how to break out of them.  That sounds good.  

Oh.  Kor kinda forgot the most important part, didn't he?  I'll tell it to you while he's pulling some sandwiches together.  I can't go over by the fridge right now...without a way out of the room there's nowhere to move my mom's body.....

Anyway.  How it ended.  It seemed like it would be a traditional ending, with the strong killing the weak as they usually do.  Jessica had me at knife point and I didn't even care about living really after seeing what happened to my mom.  Then behind her I saw Him, smiling.  Like he always smiles.  And the static in my head?  It was gone.  Blissful silence.  The suddenness of it made it feel like time had stopped.  He reached around her and grabbed me by the shoulders and we somehow...teleported to the other side of the room.  He turned me around to face my mother's corpse and slowly his grip tightened and it burned so painfully and then something touched my head but whether it was a tentacle or a finger or something I couldn't see and then the static was back and I screamed and I don't remember what happened to The Kor but that was when I blacked out.  When I woke up He and Jessica were gone and The Kor and I were in separate bodies.

How's that for mixed messages?  .....Yeah, I'm in no state to try and joke.  Hopefully I'll post again soon.  If these reach someone and we get comments then at least I know we're not dead, right?

I don't feel dead.